Once again, i feel I am out of control of my life. Things are coming together and breaking so severely apart. God. Everyday is so different. I know this is a common thing to say, but I feel like my concerns change daily. I find myself reading horoscopes and going to clairvoyants to understand or at least be pointed in the right direction.. and I think and I think and I think and then I lay my head on the table, close my eyes and exclaim (to usually Max) I don't know what to do with my life. I am literally dragging my body along for the ride.

I also realized that I fall in love with a lot of different things.. like objects, people, states of being, moments.. Perfect example is this weekend. It came and it passed and now I feel a bit empty and I long for it. This is how I gauge what love is and if I am in love: if when I look at/experience the thing/person I want to cry for no reason and if I miss this moment/person/thing uncontrollably.

There you go.